Surrender: Keeping Her in the Dark Vol. 4 Read online

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Liam

  “She isn’t acting like herself,” I said. “Norah can always see the upside to everything and this time she can’t. She is so worried about her body, our privacy and being a bad mother, she can’t wrap her head around this.”

  Marcus and Will sat in my office just listening to me. I had found a tennis ball on the way into the building and now found myself bouncing it against the wall.

  “She’s going to be a good mother. I can’t think of another woman who would make a better mother. She’s loving, kind, very creative, she has the patience of Job, and she’s been able to put up with me for over 2 years,” I caught the ball and turned back to look at both of them.

  “Why don’t you say anything?” I asked them.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, sir.” That was Marcus. “Everything you’re saying is true. Norah’s wonderful. Anyone that can put up with you and your moodiness should be given a medal,” he started to laugh but I didn’t.

  “You know what I mean,” he tried to correct himself.

  “No, I don’t think I do. Explain it to me,” I said.

  “I think what Marcus is trying to say is that we agree with you. She’s a wonderful person. However having a baby, or two babies isn’t like getting a dog or buying a new house. It’s a huge change. Being scared is understandable,” Will leaned forward.

  “I understand but it still isn’t like her. She was scared of me when we first met, but she still tried to make the best of the situation.” I threw the ball back and forth a few more times.

  “I need to do something nice for her. Just about her. We have a big wedding anniversary coming up, maybe I should plan a party,” I stood up.

  “Ah, Liam, I don’t know if that is a good idea,” Will stood up too.

  “Yes, I will plan and organize a big party.”

  “Liam, maybe getting dressed up isn’t the best thing for her right now,” Marcus added.

  “Oh, she’ll love it. A big celebration for our marriage. Celebrating our first year together in style. I’ll do it up right at the library. She loves the library. I’ll make it black tie, get a big band with horns and stringed instruments, lots of flowers and I’ll invite her family!” I snapped my fingers. Will and Marcus had stopped talking because they knew I wasn’t listening to them anymore.

  “I’ll call Tiffany and have her bring Maggie and Lorraine…maybe even Norah’s mother! Oh, this is going to be good! We haven’t dressed up in a long time. She’s going to love it!” I slammed my hand on the desk. “Marcus, you’re in charge! Get on the phone with the library people and reserve the hall! Call Lisa in events and planning and have her give you information on planning a party.” Marcus held up his hand.

  “You’re wife actually owns her own event planning business, sir. I’ve spent some time there, I think I can handle this,” he nodded.

  “Yes that’s right! You have spent some time there.” I patted him on the shoulder. “Marcy!” I yelled.

  “Pipe down!” she snapped as she came through the door.

  “Marcy, I’m planning an anniversary party for Norah and me next month. Marcus is going to handle the details. Can you give him the usual list of people we invite to this kind of thing?” I turned back to face Will and Marcus. “This is going to be brilliant!”

  I grabbed the file out of Marcy’s hand and started down the hall. Will grabbed a doughnut from Marcy’s desk and ran to follow me.

  “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Will said as he approached me again.

  “You don’t think the party is a good idea?” I asked as I continued to walk.

  “I really don’t give a damn. I wanted to talk to you about Josie. Do you think we have a job here that she could do? Or maybe over at Norah’s place?”

  “Exactly what job would that be, Will? Your personal blow job assistant?” I laughed. “Do you actually think you are going to be able to get any work done with your little plaything running around the office?”

  “You seem to get work done and you have four little playthings that assist you,” he said as we stopped in front of the conference room.

  “There’s one big difference,” I slapped the file against his chest. “I’m not sleeping with any of those women. But I can say, if Norah was here all day, I would put a bed in that closet in the back of my office,” I laughed and smiled.

  “I’m kidding with you, my friend. If you want her to work here, I honestly don’t care. I think they have some openings in payroll or compliance. Give Ted Newbury a call. He’ll be able to give you more information.” I tapped his shoulder and then went to my meeting.

  I was meeting with a few members of the board of directors for a company called Capital Solutions, Inc. They were a large home protection company. They made home security systems you could operate by your phone or tablet. They were one of the first companies to corner the market with this kind of technology, but didn’t have the capital to meet the demand. I was hoping to help out with that.

  I passed out my offer. Our engineering department had developed a voice activation system that was unique to the market and an app for smartphones.

  I made my speech, gave my presentation and then went to meet Norah for lunch.

  “What do you think of the name Neville?” I asked. Norah was sitting across the table from me picking at her salad.

  “I think it says my parents want me to get my butt kicked every day,” she laughed. “I don’t like this salad. I want something else.”

  “Get whatever you want.”

  “I want chocolate cake,” she said.

  “For lunch?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

  “Is there a problem with that?” she crossed her arms against her chest.

  “Not at all,” I said.

  “How are you feeling?” I went back to eating my lunch.

  “I would feel a whole lot better if you would stop asking me how I felt.” She gave me a cocky smile.

  “Norah, why are you in such a bad mood?” I asked.

  “Because I feel like I’m a balloon,” she put her napkin on the table and stood up, so I stood up too. “I have to pee,” she headed toward the bathroom. I noticed she was waddling a bit. I wasn’t sure if she was doing it because she couldn’t help it, or because at 24 weeks pregnant with twins she thought she had to.

  When she came back she smiled when she saw the big piece of chocolate cake in the place of her salad. She winked at me and dove right in.

  “Do you realize that our wedding anniversary is coming up in about a month?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she said with a mouthful of cake.

  “I was thinking,” I started but she didn’t let me finish.

  “No,” she held up her hand. “No, no, no. I don’t want anything. I don’t need anything. I have everything I could ever want. Please don’t plan a trip or buy me an expensive present. Just give me a foot rub and we’ll call it a day!” She went back to eating her cake.

  “Norah, do you not know me at all? Do you really think I’m going to let our first anniversary go by with just a foot rub?” I leaned forward. “How about a party?” I asked.

  “No.”

  “A small one.”

  “No.”

  “Just a few friends and family.”

  “No.”

  “It’s our year anniversary.”

  “I know.”

  “We’ve been married one year.”

  “I was there.”

  “We need to celebrate.”

  “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

  She didn’t act like she was happy about it but I knew deep in her heart she was going to be thrilled.

  Norah

  “I have to meet with decorators, I have 15 events to plan and organize, and all the while my husband wants to throw me a party for our anniversary.” I stood up. “Looking like this!” I gestured to myself.

  “Norah, do you really think you look that bad?” Dr. Tilly asked.
She was my head doctor. I started seeing her after I killed Nick.

  “No. Not really. I just feel like a balloon. I look in the mirror and I think I look fine. But then I start to walk and I feel it.” I walked over to the window.

  “Are you feeling any better?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Today I was sitting at lunch with Liam and at the next table there was this sweet little baby, sitting in a carrier, all dressed in blue. He was sleeping so peacefully. And I thought, yes, I’m ready. I can be a mother. This is going to be so wonderful.” I took a step back and looked over at her.

  “Then while I was walking to my car I saw a 2 year old throwing a fit because his mother wouldn’t buy him an ice cream.” I laughed a little. “He was screaming and jumping up and down. When she started to cross the street, he went limp and she practically had to drag him across the street.” I sat back down.

  “Then I thought, this is going to be awful. I’m going to be a terrible mother. Liam is going to spoil the kids rotten and I am going to be dealing with the tantrums,” I shrugged.

  “Those are normal parenting issues, Norah. Normal kid behavior. There will be hard times, but the good times will outweigh the bad.”

  My foot started shaking. It was a nervous reaction, but I couldn’t stop it.

  “I’m just scared.” I huffed. “My mother wasn’t really there for me. She ah,” I paused and looked down. “She drank a lot. I remember making dinner for the girls when I was 7 years old. I was coming home to an empty house when I was in Kindergarten. We use to spend Saturday’s in the library while she slept off her current hangover.”

  “Things got better when I started high school, but I didn’t need her as much so I guess it didn’t matter,” I shrugged. “I couldn’t even tell her that her boyfriend was hitting on me because I was afraid of the down spiral it would send her on.”

  “I was missing for over a month and she never even,” I paused as the tears hit my face. I put my hands over my eyes and let the tears flow.

  After a few moments of me crying she finally said something.

  “Norah, does Liam know any of this?” she asked.

  “He knows I didn’t have a great mother. He knows my childhood wasn’t ideal. But he doesn’t know…” I stopped and looked out the window again. “He doesn’t know I am scared of becoming her.” I let out a deep breath. I had been holding this breath for six months. That was it. That was my fear.

  I was scared of losing my body and losing myself, but most of all, I was scared of becoming her.

  “Well I think you need to tell him.”

  I knew she was going to say that.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Liam

  I stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited. I paced back and forth and waited. Waiting was not something I liked doing. But I held my tongue. I tapped my foot and looked at my watch, but I held my tongue. Then she finally made an appearance.

  “Don’t say a word, Mr. Hastings. I am 30 weeks pregnant with twins and I look like a water buffalo!” She made her way down the stairs, and she did not look like a water buffalo. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a black dress, covering one shoulder with a sleeve to her elbow. It was snug on her breasts and waist and hit her right around her knees. Yes, there was no hiding that she was pregnant, but she was beautiful.

  “Please don’t refer to my wife as a water buffalo,” I helped her down the last few steps, although I wasn’t sure she needed it. She might have been 30 weeks pregnant, but she still wore 4 inch Jimmy Chu heels. She stood in front of me.

  “Fine. Then I look like I swallowed a water melon,” she huffed. “Two of them.” I kissed her hand and then kissed her cheek.

  “Please don’t refer to little Neville and Liverpool as fruit either, darling.” She smiled at me.

  “Where are we going?” she asked again for the hundredth time.

  “I’m not telling you,” I pulled her close to me.

  “Liam, I hate surprises,” she whispered.

  “When have you ever hated a surprise?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m sure I have in the past,” she was being snide.

  “Well ask me as many times as you want, little one, but I’ll never tell you.”

  We got in the car and drove to the Piedmont Estates Inn; one of the hotels I owned in down town London. Marcus tried to book the library but they had an event scheduled already. I tried to convince them with a hefty donation but they wouldn’t cancel.

  We stopped in the driveway and Trig came around to open the door.

  “You look lovely this evening, Mrs. Hastings,” he said as he helped her out of the car.

  “Thank you, Trig. Keep the car running, I may want a quick getaway.”

  “Very funny,” I said.

  We walked down the hall and up one flight of stairs to the grand ballroom. Norah grabbed my hand as she figured out we weren’t going to the dining room.

  “Liam, I told you I didn’t want anything big.” She squeezed my hand.

  “Ah, yes you did,” I swallowed hard. Who didn’t want a big thing for their anniversary?

  “Did you do something big anyway,” she slowed her walking. Actually she stopped dead in her tracks right in front of the doors.

  “Norah, I,” I touched my tie.

  “Liam Hastings! I said I didn’t want a big thing. I wanted something low key!” I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then knocked on the door.

  “Don’t worry. It’ll be low key.”

  The double doors opened and the trumpets started playing, confetti fell from the ceiling, balloons went up to the ceiling and people shouted and applauded.

  “Happy Anniversary!”

  She leaned into my cheek. “We might not make it to two years, sir.” She leaned back smiled and then greeted everyone.

  She was a trooper. She glided through the room like she was floating on air, smiling, laughing and thanking everyone for coming.

  “You would think we had been married for 50 years,” I heard her say more than a few times. But she looked happy. No one would know by just watching her that she wanted to rip my head off.

  “Well I have to say you pulled it off,” Marcus gushed. “I can’t believe you did all this and she didn’t kill you in the car,” he laughed.

  “Well it helped that she didn’t find out until we got out of the car.”

  “She looks beautiful,” he added.

  “She is beautiful,” I replied. Then I looked over at him and noticed the way he was looking at her. “Marcus, if I didn’t know better, I would think you were ogling my wife,” he looked over at me.

  “Don’t make me jealous,” I smiled. “I thought you loved me the most.” I patted him on the shoulder and went to join the crowd.

  “Save me a dance, big fella,” he shouted as I walked away.

  The food was a combination of the things Norah had been craving over the last 10 weeks. There was a chocolate fountain, brownies, chocolate cake, and chocolate covered strawberries. We had fried chicken, fried cheese, and fried green beans. I also arranged for a few bars and lots of alcohol, even though Norah couldn’t drink. The food was for her, the drinks were for me.

  I asked that no one bring us gifts. This wasn’t about presents. One year wasn’t a major milestone. Although Norah and I had had more trials and tribulations in our short time together than most 50 year marriages. Tonight was about making her happy. I was already failing miserably.

  She hadn’t been herself. She hadn’t spoken about being pregnant or becoming a mother positively even once. It was something that was just happening to her and she was living it. It was obvious she wasn’t happy about it. I had no idea what was bothering her so badly, but I thought having a party would make her feel better.

  Her life was getting ready to change drastically. She had been the center of my world for 2 years and now we were going to add children to the mix. Children that would become the center of both of our worlds. She worried ab
out my feelings when it came to losing her attention, but I wondered if she was worried about my attention towards her.

  She would always be a large priority in my life but of course children would change that. Tonight was about her. Giving her attention, showing her love and letting her be the center of the party. I hoped to make her happy.

  I walked up behind her laughing and joking with Marcy at the chocolate fountain.

  “Hello darling. Does this contraption make up for planning a big party without your consent?” I asked. She smiled, that was a good sign.

  “It’s a good start,” she put a piece of apple covered in chocolate in her mouth. There was a bit of chocolate on her lips so I leaned forward and licked it off.

  “Wait until you see my gift. I think that will completely dig me out of the hole,” I kissed her mouth.

  “I thought we said no gifts,” she whispered.

  “No, no, no. We said we weren’t buying each other anything. I didn’t buy you anything.”

  “Did you steal it?” she joked.

  “No ma’am.”

  “Dance with me so I can get it out of you,” she pushed me back toward the dance floor.

  “Oh, little one, if you really want information from me there are much more fun ways to torture me.”

  “You would never make it under interrogation, my friend.”

  We danced around the floor like we were Danny Kaye and Vera Ellen. Okay we weren’t that good but we were close. After three songs Norah asked for a break because her feet hurt. I helped her over to one of the barstools and ordered a drink for myself.

  “Can I get you something?”

  “A Shirley Temple,” she said as she adjusted the straps on her shoes.

  “Are you 12?” I asked.

  “I hope not,” she looked up at me. “Because then you would be in a world of trouble, sir.”